electricity fails.

okay so, here's the thing. first of all i'd like to thank God for electricity. because without it, this world will be very dark. second, i'd like to thank PLN (the company that serves electricity in my country.) for the electricity. but you know what, even if there's an electricity, there's a fail out of it.

lately, jakarta's PLN (or other city too, idk.) shuts the electricity down. i don't know exactly why, but i don't expect this thing to be everyday. because it's hot in jakarta and without the air conditioner it'll be hotter than ever!!! :(

at 3:00 pm, the light is down. i don't know if your place was shut or not but my place is down, and so did my bf's house. coincidence? yeah right. so, we chat on the phone because we had nothing interesting to do when the light shuts down. we talked about things, about almost anything that we can talk about. and what's funny and yet, romantic is, he made an imaginary story about us. things like romantic thing that i hope he'll do it to me. oh gosh, that'll be nice. :)

ok, back to electricity. hmmmm. so, my bf told me on the phone that this electricity shutting will be last for one month! oh God. i just wish this thing will be over soon. and i hope they'll shuts the electricity down when i'm in my campus. haha. so there'll be no class. :D

i'll be going to the church soon. i hope i'll get something today. :)

"ams"

things are not very good lately.

finally, the rain has stopped! it's warm and breezy right now. i like the weather this way. it's better than the hot summer weather. this kind of weather is good for relaxing, or even sleeping. without air conditioner, yeah, that'll be nice. on my current playlist is from the fray, it's a great song to relaxing my head up from this current situation of mine.

can everybody just be happy? just like snapping your finger out like that? what's wrong with my life lately. it's been pretty hard lately i know. things aren't going out very well for me. life is pretty much sucks.

from college, yeah, my assignment is growing faster! and that's mean LOTS OF ASSIGNMENT!!! and then this theatre coming out soon in december. oh God. i can imagine what is like being on that month! it'll be pretty messed up i'm sure.

sounds pathetic am i? yeah, i am. for now. i just can't think straight! optimist? for now, IT'S WAY OUT! it's like paramore's song called "For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic". it's me right now. it's like i'm falling WAY DOWN LOW! and i can't find something to cheer me up, to lift me back up, and that's why i will go to the church, to get something i hope.

not to mention the assignment for tomorrow, oh God! i need an island getaway!!!

"ams"

a thoughts on a rainy day.

it's raining outside, and it's heavy! just like yesterday when i left bogor in the highway. the rain is so big i can't almost saw a thing! good thing we arrived safely in jakarta. oh God, look at this heavy rain! it's like Jesus is crying. it's so big!

well, i like rain, but depends actually. for me rainy day is a romantic day. you know, i'm being fantasied here but hey, i am a daydreamer. okay, start with this not too big house but not too little house in the mountain high, hmm, i'd like in alpine. that'll be great right??? well, carry on then, sooo, there was me and him (whoever it is, i was hoping my bf), in the terrace yard, sitting in the small bench, together, he was hugging me and i'm on his leap of shoulder. okay it's staring to get romantic here. hmmmm. and then it was rain, small rain will be enough, and then i made hot chocolate for two. and then, bossa musics start to play on the back. yeah, there it is, my perfect story. and i hope it'll became true. i just pray to God.

okay, the rain is finally cooling down. it's starting to slowing down. and i hope that it is. please, no more heavy rain my dear God. pretty please!!! :)

i love you rain, but not this big! okay?!

blog to you all later! :)

"ams"

thoughts before i sleep.

i've been kinda weird lately, my emotion runs high, my mood become ups and downs, the atmosphere is bad, dark and all blur out, i'm miserable lately. in fact, i don't know exactly who i am.

have you ever feels like there's two you in your body? or in your life?

for me, yeah, i am. and i know that. it's like, one side of me is the 'angel' me and the other side of me is the 'devil' me. sometimes, depends on my current mood and situation, i can get the 'angel' side of me go out but sometimes when i'm feeling all hazel out it's the 'devil' me that controls me. i think i need something new, something inspiring for me. well it's for me and for others too i think. i don't want to have 2 sides of me in one body. sometimes when i'm in the middle of 'angel' and 'devil' my head is all dizzy. i want to scream that thing out loud and yet, i can't that i cries.

i'm the type of person that easily cries, but i tend to hold up my tears so it wont come out. and turned out to be i can't control my breath. my heart is totally hurt and i can't breath sometimes. from what i've learn, i have to get that thing going on out. or there'll be something really hurt happens to your body. for me, i get sick. my body temperature will rise up and i'll be down. deep down. and nobody can't leave me back up again.

life is hard, but we must face it no matter what. because this is what God plans us to be, this is what He wants us to living. i thank God for everything that He gave me everyday, i seek for help to Him, i beg for mercy for Him. that's why even though i complained about my life, He'll be there for me. thank God for Your existence. :)

i tried to change my life, i am one person with a high level of egoism. yeah i do. and i'd like to change that. i know i can, i need supports, but i have to have a will on my mind. if not, there'll be no result for that. i hope i can. hey, like they said, "IF THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY." and of course, i will be! i know i can!!!

well, there it is, my life recently. i guess i have to buy this book called, "THE RULES OF LIFE." by richard templar if i'm not wrong. yeah, i need that. and i'll tell all about that book later. i'll do some review in here.

"ams"

jimmy needham - firefly.

my current favorite song. you can check out his song and video in here.

jimmy needham - firefly.

It’s tulips and it’s daisies
Your favorite flowers lately
You think that I ain’t listening, but you know I do
With your two lips on me baby
My head starts getting dazey
Don’t give me a flower
What I want is you

It happened on the day you put your hand in mine
You went up to my head just like a glass of wine
Girl, you spark my attention like a firefly
And make me happy to be alive

You move into a room like
Summer breeze at noon time
Baby, out of nine, I’d give you ten
Your love is like an ocean
Surf and spray in motion
Baby, I’m a diver and I love to swim

It happened on the day you put your hand in mine
You went up to my head just like a glass of wine
Girl, you spark my attention like a firefly
And make me happy to be alive

These are just simple words of mine
And though most of what I feel is hard to rhyme
Ain’t it good to know your boy gave it a try?
O a try
It’d take a thousand colors just to paint your eyes
Like saving grace, they raise me up to paradise
This ain’t opinion, it’s consensus from my heart and mind
You make me happy to be alive

boys will always be boys.

hey, how's it goin'? fine? good for you then. i'm not so in the good mood today. my head is dizzy, my stomach is hurt, i don't know where the hell is my bf is. ughh!!! bad mood!

well, i've been wanting to talk about boys behavior in here, because from what i see, heard and knew, boys will always be boys. so, here's the thing, these are my thoughts about man. or boys if you prefer that.

1. they'll stay longer spending time with their mates than us.

yeah, that's happen. and i don't know what they're talking about and i don't care either. but, yeah, there it is. if! us (girls) go out with our friends, they'll texts and calls us like bazillion times than us! don't believe it? well, it does happen! a LOT!

2. when they say, "just a minute" they meant three to five hours later.

again, don't believe it? well, you should. from what i've experienced before, my bf tend to said, "i'll be back in just a minute, i'll not going for a long time, just a sec, etc." and you know when will they get back? THREE TO FIVE HOURS LATER!!! approximately. well, tips from me to you guys, DON'T SAY IT IF YOU'RE NOT MEAN IT! FOR REAL!

3. once a liar ALWAYS be a liar.

there's no need for me to explain this. we all know that boys DO lie! no matter how nice they are, how lovely they are, but they are all a big LIAR! never ever trust them 100%, or even 30%! trust me, guarantee!

truthfully, there's lots more than this if you wanna talk about guys. but hey, nobody's perfect. we all make mistakes. but these three things are what i hate the most about guys. like they all said, boys will always be boys.

gotta go now, i'm not in a very good mood anyway. things will be just fine, i hope. :|

"ams"

a little memory back to december 2008.

so, i manage to finished my assignment in time. thank God for that. and now my hand is all shaky and weird. but it's alright. :)

i can't believe that tomorrow is already OCTOBER! seems just like yesterday i celebrated new year. and now it's OCTOBER ALREADY? gosh. time sure is money. i feel old. :( well, if october is here, than there'll be november soon, oh! and DECEMBER! my favorite month ever! you know, it's all about christmas, christmas and more christmas. :) it's sure is the time to be jolly! and i can't wait till christmas come. please come early my dear CHRISTMAS! :)

talking about christmas, that happens on the 25th of december every year, i got another reason why i love christmas. yeah it's because i finally have a boyfriend on that day. now it's been 9th month since we both sailing on this relationship. it's been quite a mess and fun at the same time. we have fights, laughs, tears, almost everything that every couple should have. and that's what makes us stronger each day. well, communication DOES work!

i wanna tell you about him for a bit. his name is IRVAN SETIAWAN. we met in class on semester 3. at first i don't know if he's existed in class, because he always sit in the back. and i was sitting in the front. i already have someone that i like back then. (nah, i don't wanna talk about him, it's sad!) and after i broke up with my previous one, i remember on the 22nd of october 2008, i get to know him better. and from that time, until now we still live on as a happy couple! :)

he's quite a nice person, great personality, kind and cute. hihi. i like cute guys! :p anyway, he's not attractive but i like him, he's not tall and skinny but i love him, he's not perfect and i still loves him very much! there's this thing that i read in the internet, tells me that he's the type of guy that will suits my life trough tick and thin. and we'll completed each other. it's like God created me to be with him. well, i don't believe on that site 100%, but i believe in God. everyday i pray for our relationship to last longer and believe in everything that God will gave me.

i love him even though he's not perfect! and that's that! and i hope we'll be together in God's will. amen! :)

gotta go to sleep. my eyes and hands are killing me!

catch ya' later blogs! :*

"ams"