a whole week full with hedonism.

YES YES YES!!! MY THEATRE THINGY IS DONE!!! i'm glad plus relieve, and sad too. i'm gonna miss the togetherness with my fellow theatre mates. because this maybe the first and the last theatre that i'm gonna do in my life. well, it's not really my thing. doing theatrical performance or so. but i know deep in my heart this is not what i like and i want to be for my future life. but yeah, it is a magical experience for me. and thank you thank you thank you for all of my friends of group 1 drama class. i love you all!!! and i'm sorry if i made a mistakes or what-so-ever. i'm glad to be part of this play. :)

oh! we got second place on the production team and for the best actor. isn't it great? we all put our best effort to reach that day. and guess what? it pays off! how glad can i be huh? and now when everything is over and i have my holiday, even though i can't say it's a holiday, it's only a week, what can i do besides sleeping, eating, watching dvds, going out, shopping, etc.? well, i'm happy i have a rest at least. thank God for sleep! it's the only thing that i'll not hate for my entire life! :D

so, after a month maybe without watching a movie, i finally watch 'Alice in Wonderland' and shop!!! oh i love shopping! at first i was confused wether i want to buy shoes or this cute jacket that i want it so much. and i chose shoes. why? well, i love shoes and bags more than clothes! even though i need that jacket too! maybe next time. :)

and the shoes is very cheap! i can get 2 pairs of shoes for only Rp. 200.000! how great is that? and it is a flat shoes, my favorite shoes ever! and i want the slippers too but there are no size left for me. and that makes me wonder why i have this big feet??? my size around 7 or 8. and i wonder why? i think it's normal though. but i don't know. i think my foot are too big for me? oh well...

today i'll be going to this event called JAVA JAZZ FESTIVAL 2010. it's an event for all! haha. well, it's an annual show so yeah, last year i went and it was tons of fun! so i hope this year too! i didn't bought the special show ticket but let me enjoy the regular show instead. :D

"ams"

christmas is coming real soon! :)

so, it's the 20th of december already, which means, it's only five more days to christmas and also, my anniversary with my bf. :) well, it's sure comes pretty fast huh? i never wish for anything better this christmas, because i know i'll get what i want on christmas. but the most excited thing on this year christmas' is i get to spend my christmas with my family and also my bf outside jakarta. isn't that wonderful? for me, i don't need any christmas present, celebrating christmas with your family and your love one are the most wonderful gift ever on christmas day. and i can't wait to do so. :D

oh, i'm on my holiday now on. all i get to do is sleeping, more sleeping and more more and more sleeping. because i need that, i really am. all my 'time' sacrifice are all payed off by it. and i get to sleep like more than eight hours a day from now on. isn't that magical? haha. :p

tomorrow i'll cut my hair off, i'm getting tired with this long hair, not that i want to cut my hair short, but i'm gonna cut them off for like five or seven centimeters. it's already way too long and i'm sick of it. also the weather is hot in here, so, i'm gonna shorten my hair up tomorrow.

another christmas spirit, i'm gonna cross christmas presents with my bf. and i already bought what he likes and i hope he use it for the rest of his life. i can't write what's inside his presents because he'll read my blog. that's not gonna be a surprise right? ughhh!!! that's why i can't wait any longer for christmas day to come! i am soooooooo thrilled!!!

now that i realized, i haven't seen a movie recently. i even forgot the last movie i saw. hmmm. i wanna catch up. maybe next week i'll go to the movie with my bf. :)

have a great holiday mates!!! :)

"ams"

i've had enough and i need a holiday right away!

it's bad. i'm totally bored with this situation! i don't know why but i hate this! again and again, always, everyday, it's like i'm running in circle in order to get through until february 2010. please, i need a major break from all of my activity. and yes, i know this is my responsibility, but every single person has their limit, and for me, i already reach mine. :(

please, holiday come early.

because i know next year it's gonna be worst than this year, everything will be very extremely hectic and chaos everywhere. but i know, someday, it'll get through. i hope it does.

no need to write anything again i guess, you all know what am i going through recently right? huff. i'm tired.

"ams"

december, the most magical month.

gosh! it's december already folks! i cannot believe it. what can i say, this year is way too fast than i thought. maybe because i'm too focus on my theatre thingy and stuffs. but hey, it's the second of december already. and 2009 it's only 28 days left. i can't believe it! wow! :)

and if december already here, then christmas is near too!!! yippieee!!! i am soooo happy!!! can you tell? hihi. so, christmas. i already have a plan already. and it's a plan with my big family and of course my lovely bf. at first, my mom never told me about going out of town on christmas, because every year, on christmas eve, my big family always gathers in my cousin's house. and we celebrate until late. drinks, turkey, great musics, alcohol, etc. all the great stuffs to celebrate. but then, yesterday, my mom told me that we'll be going out of town on 25th of christmas. and yes, that was shocking at first. because my bf and i already make a plan. but then, the plan had changed. i'll be going with my family and so does my bf. :)

so, i'll be celebrating christmas with my family and my bf. yaaayyy!!! oh my gosh, i am so happy. december is the happiest month of all this year i guess. :D

oh! oh! oh! my daddy bought me another christmas tree!!! yeay!!! i have two christmas trees this year. what can i say? december is truly a magic month. love it! :)

have a great day on december everyone!!!

"ams"

things are not very good lately.

finally, the rain has stopped! it's warm and breezy right now. i like the weather this way. it's better than the hot summer weather. this kind of weather is good for relaxing, or even sleeping. without air conditioner, yeah, that'll be nice. on my current playlist is from the fray, it's a great song to relaxing my head up from this current situation of mine.

can everybody just be happy? just like snapping your finger out like that? what's wrong with my life lately. it's been pretty hard lately i know. things aren't going out very well for me. life is pretty much sucks.

from college, yeah, my assignment is growing faster! and that's mean LOTS OF ASSIGNMENT!!! and then this theatre coming out soon in december. oh God. i can imagine what is like being on that month! it'll be pretty messed up i'm sure.

sounds pathetic am i? yeah, i am. for now. i just can't think straight! optimist? for now, IT'S WAY OUT! it's like paramore's song called "For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic". it's me right now. it's like i'm falling WAY DOWN LOW! and i can't find something to cheer me up, to lift me back up, and that's why i will go to the church, to get something i hope.

not to mention the assignment for tomorrow, oh God! i need an island getaway!!!

"ams"

a thoughts on a rainy day.

it's raining outside, and it's heavy! just like yesterday when i left bogor in the highway. the rain is so big i can't almost saw a thing! good thing we arrived safely in jakarta. oh God, look at this heavy rain! it's like Jesus is crying. it's so big!

well, i like rain, but depends actually. for me rainy day is a romantic day. you know, i'm being fantasied here but hey, i am a daydreamer. okay, start with this not too big house but not too little house in the mountain high, hmm, i'd like in alpine. that'll be great right??? well, carry on then, sooo, there was me and him (whoever it is, i was hoping my bf), in the terrace yard, sitting in the small bench, together, he was hugging me and i'm on his leap of shoulder. okay it's staring to get romantic here. hmmmm. and then it was rain, small rain will be enough, and then i made hot chocolate for two. and then, bossa musics start to play on the back. yeah, there it is, my perfect story. and i hope it'll became true. i just pray to God.

okay, the rain is finally cooling down. it's starting to slowing down. and i hope that it is. please, no more heavy rain my dear God. pretty please!!! :)

i love you rain, but not this big! okay?!

blog to you all later! :)

"ams"

thoughts before i sleep.

i've been kinda weird lately, my emotion runs high, my mood become ups and downs, the atmosphere is bad, dark and all blur out, i'm miserable lately. in fact, i don't know exactly who i am.

have you ever feels like there's two you in your body? or in your life?

for me, yeah, i am. and i know that. it's like, one side of me is the 'angel' me and the other side of me is the 'devil' me. sometimes, depends on my current mood and situation, i can get the 'angel' side of me go out but sometimes when i'm feeling all hazel out it's the 'devil' me that controls me. i think i need something new, something inspiring for me. well it's for me and for others too i think. i don't want to have 2 sides of me in one body. sometimes when i'm in the middle of 'angel' and 'devil' my head is all dizzy. i want to scream that thing out loud and yet, i can't that i cries.

i'm the type of person that easily cries, but i tend to hold up my tears so it wont come out. and turned out to be i can't control my breath. my heart is totally hurt and i can't breath sometimes. from what i've learn, i have to get that thing going on out. or there'll be something really hurt happens to your body. for me, i get sick. my body temperature will rise up and i'll be down. deep down. and nobody can't leave me back up again.

life is hard, but we must face it no matter what. because this is what God plans us to be, this is what He wants us to living. i thank God for everything that He gave me everyday, i seek for help to Him, i beg for mercy for Him. that's why even though i complained about my life, He'll be there for me. thank God for Your existence. :)

i tried to change my life, i am one person with a high level of egoism. yeah i do. and i'd like to change that. i know i can, i need supports, but i have to have a will on my mind. if not, there'll be no result for that. i hope i can. hey, like they said, "IF THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY." and of course, i will be! i know i can!!!

well, there it is, my life recently. i guess i have to buy this book called, "THE RULES OF LIFE." by richard templar if i'm not wrong. yeah, i need that. and i'll tell all about that book later. i'll do some review in here.

"ams"

MY NANA-CHAN IS BACK!!!

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!! YEAY!!! MY NANA-CHAN IS BACK!!! SHE'S REALLY BACK FOR SURE!!! OH GOD!!! THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER. THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! geez~

i was so panic at first, her mom called me when i'm in the middle of watching a dvd. and she told me that nana cried, and she's acting weird. and her mom gave her phone to nana so she can talk to me and the she said, "de, help me. he's killing me." in indonesian language and i know that she's nana that i know that talked to me. and the "he" in this story is something called MAX. nana kept calling it MAX. after that, i called mady and told her what happened, and then i called my boyfriend and then i called bima. God! i was so panic!!!

i took a taxi to the hospital, and i went straight to the emergency room. and wait for bima and mady to come. at first i saw nana in the emergency room bed, she was so scared, she keep hiding her face under the pillow, and she hold my hand and mady's hand. and someone lead a prayer and then i went outside. but mady is staying to accompany her. huff. as i wait, i pray to God to gave her back, to bring her back. and as i came back to the emergency room, voila! she's back. she's nana that i know. that i love very much. :)

so, she told me about her life on this amnesia thing. she was trapped in some kind of a cage, trying to get out but she can't. and this MAX is like blocking her for some reason. so she can't get out. but she still lives there in her own body. and she also know what are we all trying to say. even though it's in indonesian language. but yeah. again, she's trapped inside her own body. and she's like watching her own body moving, talking. until today, she finally fight MAX and she's back. and I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT!!!

i'm so happy right now, and i just wanna say thank you to my Lord, who gave all of us strength to carry on, faith in You and most of all love from You. thank God!

WELCOME BACK ANGELA RENATA SPIRO!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

:)

"ams"

i feel weird today.

as i said in the title of my blog, i feel weird today. it's like i have some kind of this huge energy in my body and i act hyperbolically in-front of my friends and even my boyfriend. gosh! and i realize it because my boyfriend told me that. i'm not ashame of it, but my boyfriend told me that i'm so energetic today.

well, whatever.

oh!

i have a happy news!!! hehe. :)

finally, i can upload pictures from my mobile! thanks to whoever invented the technology. so, i tried to upload it a couple hours ago, and it worked! i don't know why, but yeah, it made me happy!!! :)

about today's final test. it's my anthropology class. and yes, i just have to collect my final paper and then go straight back home. it's a waste of gasoline. but, it's alright, i need a rest because i didn't get some good night sleep yesterday.

well, i better get some sleep now. oh, and it's 4:44 pm right now. someone starting with the letter "D" is missing me. hehe. that's what the myth said by the way.

later mate! :)

"ams"