MY NANA-CHAN IS BACK!!!

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!! YEAY!!! MY NANA-CHAN IS BACK!!! SHE'S REALLY BACK FOR SURE!!! OH GOD!!! THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER. THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! geez~

i was so panic at first, her mom called me when i'm in the middle of watching a dvd. and she told me that nana cried, and she's acting weird. and her mom gave her phone to nana so she can talk to me and the she said, "de, help me. he's killing me." in indonesian language and i know that she's nana that i know that talked to me. and the "he" in this story is something called MAX. nana kept calling it MAX. after that, i called mady and told her what happened, and then i called my boyfriend and then i called bima. God! i was so panic!!!

i took a taxi to the hospital, and i went straight to the emergency room. and wait for bima and mady to come. at first i saw nana in the emergency room bed, she was so scared, she keep hiding her face under the pillow, and she hold my hand and mady's hand. and someone lead a prayer and then i went outside. but mady is staying to accompany her. huff. as i wait, i pray to God to gave her back, to bring her back. and as i came back to the emergency room, voila! she's back. she's nana that i know. that i love very much. :)

so, she told me about her life on this amnesia thing. she was trapped in some kind of a cage, trying to get out but she can't. and this MAX is like blocking her for some reason. so she can't get out. but she still lives there in her own body. and she also know what are we all trying to say. even though it's in indonesian language. but yeah. again, she's trapped inside her own body. and she's like watching her own body moving, talking. until today, she finally fight MAX and she's back. and I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT!!!

i'm so happy right now, and i just wanna say thank you to my Lord, who gave all of us strength to carry on, faith in You and most of all love from You. thank God!

WELCOME BACK ANGELA RENATA SPIRO!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

:)

"ams"

hope.

hey! how are you doing today? great? yeah me too! actually, i'm happy. very happy. i want to share a story about my trip to puncak and the latest about nana. :)

so, we (me, mady, nana, tiffany and dorys) went to puncak at the 27th of july. and it's the first place i visited since my holiday is started. my first impression for puncak is it's extremely COLD in there!!! gosh! i worn two jackets at the same time. it's as cold as freezer! not being too hyper but yeah. for me, the person who can't stand such coldness like that, it's very very cold. i never expect puncak to be that cold. because you know, it's getting hotter here in jakarta. weird weather.

oh well, moving on, we stayed for just one night. and i'm very excited for this trip. why? well, because i can be somewhere other than my house. i need some getaway anyway. hihi. and one purpose i went to puncak is for nana's recovery. we thought that if we take her to puncak she'll recover. she did recover, but not 100% recover. but i'm so glad that she speaks indonesian language now. even though, she use formal language. it's funny to chat or talk with her with indonesian language, it's weird. haha. but she'll get used to it. and me too.

she talked about herself today when we chat. and she felt guilty because she thinks that she made everyone tired because of her. but hell no! i'm not tired. because i want her to come back. and i want the old nana back. so why must i be tired because of this?

she asked me earlier,

nana : are you gonna miss the amnesia me?

me : maybe.

nana : why?

me : because i spent my holiday with her at puncak. and i had so much fun with her.

nana : do you miss the old nana?

me : yeah, very much.

nana : she'll be back before you know it.

me : i know that from the beginning.

and she asked me if she back to being her old self, can she remember all the things that she did on her amnesia self. and i said to her that she couldn't remember anything from it. and she said, "that will be sad." and i convince her and i told her, "but i'll remember it again to you, i'll tell everything you want to know." and you know what, i have this feeling, that she's gonna recover tomorrow. and i believe it. it's like her statement, words and everything she told me today is like a goodbye. a goodbye from the amnesia nana. and i hope it's true. i want her back, everybody does! but i'll miss the amnesia nana too. :)

i hope for the very best tomorrow.

cheers mate!

"ams"

it's called "routine".

i've been thinking of my life lately. i felt weird today. ok, i'm excited about tomorrow's trip. but, i still feel empty and i can't seemed to sense anything. it's weird, strange i guess. i'm not me today, i feel like i'm not the 'audrey' everyone seems to know i think. but nobody's complaining about it today, or, maybe i'm the one who felt like that. agghhh!!!

tomorrow will be the first day of holiday, my real holiday. i'll be going to puncak tomorrow. i'm excited about that. will take lots of pictures there. :)

let's go to the main topic today. it's about routine.

i'm fed up with my everyday routine. and i'd like to change that. but i don't know how. hmmm. i'm bored with almost everything, even my relationship, but i now realize that, it's not the relationship that i'm bored with, but the routine in it that is. and as i said before, I'D LIKE TO CHANGE THAT!!! but how? well, i'm all set with this holiday plans. i want to go swimming!!! swim, and more swim. hehe. work out will be better than doing nothing in home right? and it's summer anyway. i want to go swimming!!!

i hope my everyday will not be the same on this one month holiday. well, hopes for the best, as always everyday. and thank God for everything. :)

i'm signing out! cheers mate!

"ams"

HOLIDAY!!!

hey there mates! :)

it's extremely hot in here, i can feel the summer heat right now, as for today finally all of my final tests are officially finished!!! yay! i'm so happy right now. it's time for enjoy the summer heat and chill out for the moment.

i'll be going to puncak at the 27th of july, to accompany renata, because she wants to go there. we'll stay up for one night only. i really need that. i need some fun and not boring holiday.

and i'll have a family holiday too next month. we're going to bangka island. the beach is marvelous there. i can't wait to catch up with the sun and the beach, it's summer anyway. it can't be summer without going out to the beach. yay!!! i'll be taking lots of pictures there. agghhh!!! i can't waittt!!! :D

i'll be enjoying my holiday, because there'll be a lot things to do in a month. :)

so, i'm signing out, enjoying the hot sun!

see ya' mates!

"ams"

believe.

ah~ time passed by so quickly. it's been six days now, knowing one of my best friend lost her memories. or so they would called 'amnesia'. i've been searching all along this past two days about amnesia. and turned out to be, seems likely, my friend's amnesia can be heal. but i don't know when. well, i'm hoping for the very best for her. and her mom. hope she'll return soon.

yesterday i went to renata's church. she asked me to come and watch her played the drum. she was nervous at first she said. but after i saw her playing perfectly without no mistakes, she is still my renata that i know. that i love. that i care about. and i know, deep down inside in her mind, body and soul she's renata. i'm so happy that she can play it very well. :)

not being a crybaby but, for the past three days i cried in the night. i still can't believe what's happening to her? sad, but well, as the priest said yesterday, all we have to do is BELIEVE what's best for her. and believe that she'll cure and be back to her normal self. it is all God's plan. and i believe that God never gave us His child something that is bad. and all of the things will be better at no time.

i woke up today at ten o'clock in the morning, my mom wakes me up though. i checked my phone and my facebook account. i change my status and the first person to comment on my status is renata. i was shocked that she can remember how to use her blackberry again. but at the end i know that her mom taught her how to use it again. she tried to cheer me up on my status. and the last thing she said was, "I see, well I may have lost my memory but I didn't loose my heart." see, she's my renata!!! and i believe it!!!

tomorrow, her result from the MRI test will be out. and i hope she's ok and she can be back to normal. always and always miss her!

i miss you nana! :)

"ams"

beautiful.

i just want to share my current favorite song. and it's called "beautiful" by trading yesterday. but it's sad knowing that trading yesterday is no longer together. they were the greatest among many of the bands that i like. and the meaning from this song is so great. i also dedicated this song to my lovely best friend, renata, who suffers amnesia at the moment. it happens to be her favorite song too. and someday, when she's back to her normal self, i'll definitely show this blog page to her. enjoy!

*you can check their song here.

"BEAUTIFUL"

by: trading yesterday.

And time stands still beneath the air of waiting hours
To touch, just to feel a love that seems to overpower me
She's all I'll ever need
And you know her love just hypnotizes me
'Til All I see is beautiful

At night I dream that you were sent to me from heaven
My Life, it seems so lonely here without your presence
You could change my everyday
And I could never think of love without your name
As you remain---

Beautiful--- like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain
Beautiful--- like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break
Beautiful--- like the joy that comes when the love you've longed for has just begun
Beautiful--- making everything brand new
Beautiful you

And all this time you're changing me to something better
A love so high that everyday that we're together
I will leave the world below
Until your heart becomes the only thing I know
All I know is---

Beautiful--- like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain
Beautiful--- like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break
Beautiful--- like the joy that comes when the love you've longed for has just begun
Beautiful--- making everything brand new
Beautiful you

i saw you smile and laugh.

yesterday i talked about my best friend that got amnesia. and today i visit her at her house. and i was so happy when i saw her in her bedroom. playing her guitar. but it was sad, knowing that when i enter her room, she said to my friend, "who is that?" you know, i almost cried when i heard that question. she looked at me with her innocent face, it's like she wants to know me but at the same time she looked so confused. so i introduce my self and she still can't remember a thing.

what i'm very happy about is she still can play her musics. she remember almost anything that the iTunes played. she can play it with her guitar and sing a little bit. i nearly cried knowing that she played all the songs perfectly! i'm soooo proud of her. and she have the spirit to know about herself, about her friends and about all the things. she wants to learn indonesian language (because she can only talk with english language), she wants to have fun, she wants to go out and play. God i miss her!!!

so, her mother told me everything that happen to her. at first she said that she found renata lying on the floor consciously, and she thought that she lose her already. renata screamed that she's hurting so badly in her head. and after her mom put her in her bed, and starting to talk to her, she can't remember who she was...

some of my friends told me that, her amnesia will not stay long. my dad told me that too. i miss her now, i miss the good old times that me and her and with the others too. it's sad. i never believe that amnesia does really existed. all i know is amnesia only shows in the movies. but now, it's really happening. and it's happening to someone that is really close to mine. she's my best friend. and i love her very much!!!

but i know, she'll recover. i know and i believe in that!!! all i have to do to her is, pray and visit her a lot. so that she can remember her old self and she'll be back to normal again. :)

GET WELL SOON RENATA SPIRO!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!

"ams"

amnesia.

i heard a very bad news yesterday. it was all about my friend, my best friend actually. she's amnesia. :(

the chronology was barely unknown. i got the news from my friend and i thought at first that he's just joking. because all i know is he's the class clown back in high school. so i called her on her cellphone. confused, panicked, shocked, unbelievable. her name is renata, but i called her "na-chan or nana".

nana : hallo.

me : hallo, na...

nana : who is this?

me : (shocked)

nana : hallo, who is this?

me : err...this is ode.

nana : ode? who is ode?

me : (hang up the phone)

i was extremely SHOCKED!!! i fell down. and i can't think of anything. i cried. it's sad.

let's put it this way, what do you feel if someone forgets everything from you. knowing that he/she spends almost of their time with you. i feel terrible, sad, still can't believe it. i miss her. i miss her laugh, her stories, everything! and it seems i lost her already.

she is good in almost everything. guitar, drum, bass and also percussion. she loves to do water sports like wake boarding. and now she knows nothing.

her mom called me today, and she said that nana wants to talk with me. i almost cried in tears when i heard her speaking. but i'm happy at the same time, because she wants to talk to me. she asked me wether i have a plan for today or not, she asked me how am i feeling today. it's sad you know, talk to her like that. and awkward too. knowing that i never talk to her like that. seems like i talk to a total stranger. but hey, i know that she's my nana. and i'm happy that she called me today. :)

tomorrow i'll visits her at her house. hoping that she'll get her memories back soon. and i hope this amnesia will not last forever. i hope it's only temporarily. all i can do is pray to God. may God cures her. and may God gives what best for her. and i'm pretty sure that this is all God's plan. and His plan is always a good thing. so, i believe in God and i believe my na-chan will be back to her normal self. and i know that's true.

please pray for her. whoever reads this. i really appreciate it. :)

i love you na-chan!!!

always will.

"ams"

nana, me and mady.

i feel weird today.

as i said in the title of my blog, i feel weird today. it's like i have some kind of this huge energy in my body and i act hyperbolically in-front of my friends and even my boyfriend. gosh! and i realize it because my boyfriend told me that. i'm not ashame of it, but my boyfriend told me that i'm so energetic today.

well, whatever.

oh!

i have a happy news!!! hehe. :)

finally, i can upload pictures from my mobile! thanks to whoever invented the technology. so, i tried to upload it a couple hours ago, and it worked! i don't know why, but yeah, it made me happy!!! :)

about today's final test. it's my anthropology class. and yes, i just have to collect my final paper and then go straight back home. it's a waste of gasoline. but, it's alright, i need a rest because i didn't get some good night sleep yesterday.

well, i better get some sleep now. oh, and it's 4:44 pm right now. someone starting with the letter "D" is missing me. hehe. that's what the myth said by the way.

later mate! :)

"ams"

hello world! :)

HELLO WORLD!!!

it's almost twelve in here. and i just made my brand new blog. i've been posting since i was in high school, but turned out to be that i forgot my ID and password for my old blog. i know it may sounds silly but yeah. i've been checking all of my e-mail address, hoping for something that might tell me about my blog ID. but unfortunately, turned out to be a big ZERO.

today i went to the cinema to watch "ICE AGE 3". very entertaining and funny. aside from a very rough day that i've been going trough lately, i need something that cheers me up. so i watch the movie. well i don't watch the first and the second installment, but i think i get the point from the movie. i recommend you to watch, it's very entertaining.

tomorrow will be the 4th day of my final test (i think). and all i have to do is collect my paper work and gave it to my lecturer.

you know, i've been thinking a lot lately about this whole semester 4. most of the finals are "take home test" thing. and i like that, but i don't like it because it's driving me nuts! first, my DESKTOP PUBLISHING class. for final, i have to made a company that related to global warming. then i have to make the logo, banner, poster, sticker, t-shirts, etc. and i nearly fainted when i started to make that. and it cost me around fifty thousands rupiah for all of that. even though, it turned out to be very well. and i'm proud of what i've done. :D

second, it's my PR AND PUBLICITY class. i have to make a proposal where i have to make a brand, a new one. and i have to tell the world what's this is all about. God, i've done this a million times since i was in semester one. so it's pretty much easier than the others.

last one, the hardest thing ever. i have to make a paper about Bali. yeah, Indonesia's own paradise. i made it just one day, and in that day my head keeps spinning around. but it turned out very well. oh, not to tell that my printer broke because i have to print this 22 pages in 10 minutes. i hope it'll get better tomorrow.

so, that's pretty much about my day today. and i thank God for today and hopes for the best tomorrow. i'm signing out! i really need to get some rest.

night y'all!

"ams"